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I am leaving.

To a place where I am a stanger.

Where I do not have to introduce myself as a smile or a nod will do. No one knows your past and your difficulties. The life you have built or destroyed does not matter. You do not have to explain yourself or continue to play a role which you never did consent to in the first place. Because, like the rest of them, you are nothing.

Where you live one day at a time without expectations for the future. You burn the days and to fail to do so is a waste. Money talks and people listen. They are so naive. Where moderation is cowardice and excess the rule. It is time to be selfish. They all are.

Where the woman of my dreams will touch the earth and share meals with me. Life cannot be too cruel. She, too, is looking for that true life to come. Like me, she's searching. It does not matter whether or not she knows that I long for her. I do not have to say anything. I'd be content to just gaze at her beauty and listen to her madness. She'll know. And since I too know, we'll be playing that game. A game where no one loses but no one wins just the same. Yet she will leave and after a while, I, too, will leave. Like a death sentence, everything will end and go back to what it was before. But it is important that I lived before that death.

Where this reality will merely be my imagination. This hell of hopelessness will just be a nightmare that I wake up from. What is important is waking up. It is essential that we go through the nights. There, I never sleep the sleep of the unjust. I will forever be waking up to a guiltless sun that knows everything is fleeting.

There, I will learn to forgive myself and laugh my way back to this hell.


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