This is such an amazingly honest piece of your soul... I'm happy to have helped you realize, in whatever small way, how much out there you might be missing. I'm sure you know because, like you said, you've been there before. And to have made you wonder about picking yourself up from that silence, is the best complement anyone can ever get from you. I know it's never easy. And no one can tell you to get up and get moving, if you don't want to or if you're not ready. So know that we'll just be here. And as soon as you're ready, we'll be here to guide you. If you need us to.
You've searched too much inside your mind and inside your emotions. Maybe it's time, again, to put them to test someplace beyond yourself.