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Showing posts from December, 2008

Pangungulila ng Pasko


Music: Francis Dandan
Lyrics: Aureo Estanislao

Pasko na sinta ko
Hanap-hanap kita
Bakit nagtatampong
Nilisan ako

Kung mawawala ka
Sa piling ko sinta
Paano ang Paskong
Inulila mo

Sayang sinta ang sinumpaan
At pagtitinginang tunay
Nais mo bang kalimutang ganap
Ang ating suyuan at galak

Kung mawawala ka
Sa piling ko sinta
Paano ang Paskong
Alay ko sa iyo


Ginagawa kang mag-isa ng pag-ibig
Virginia Woolf

Bakit sa Pasko, higit sa iba pang panahon, nararamdaman ang malalilm na lungkot ng pagiging mag-isa? Bakit sa Pasko, higit sa anumang okasyon, ipinagdiriwang ang pagmamahalan ng mga magkasintahan? Ano ba ang nasa Pasko na kailangang isiping maligaya ako kasama ng iba at iniiwasan ang pagiging mag-isa?

Maaari namang tignan ang Pasko bilang isa sa maraming pagdiriwang na nangangahulugan lamang ng bakasyon at pahinga. Ito marahil ang inaantabayanan ng mag-aaral na nais iwanan ang mga gawain sa paaralan; para sa isang nagtatrabaho, ibig sabihin nito…

Summer in December


The cold was getting uncomfortable. It had been a welcome surprise to get some cool weather and clear skies during the day. Because it suddenly felt like Christmas, I wore a bright red shirt. I had seen busy people already leaving their cares behind, trooping to some important party that cannot be missed, gifts hastily wrapped in tow, the afternoon sun smiling upon them. But I had work to do. I checked papers in the afternoon, something I need not do till next year. I stifled a yawn every now and then, unable to understand why coffee could not keep me awake. I also could not understand what I was doing, or why I was doing what I was doing. What was I doing in school hours before I would give an exam? Am I happy? The bell rang for the last time, much to the relief of those who were still having classes, ordering littered rooms, and waiting for the end of their weariness. Students walked hurriedly and excitedly to their cars while chatting about some exam they had or where they were to…

Freedom from Love


Being apart is another way of being together.

How do we free ourselves from a past love?

It is not a question of denying or becoming angry at the other; on the contrary, freedom entails a calm acceptance--a recognition that, perhaps, no one is to be blamed for a failed love. And when no one could be blamed, either her or myself, my anger quickly dissipates for it has no object. For denial is precisely this: diverting the pain which eats your insides away to something--anything--which could absorb a force I can no longer handle; so I turn my sadness into my scorn for her. I deny first that I suffer from a pain with no name (pretending that it was "no big deal" or that it was "necessary" or "time" that we part ways, etc.). Then because this denial could not be denied, I gather my listless and diffused emotions in order to aim them at her who must necessarily have caused all this madness. Hence, the past beloved, who hurts as well, quickly becomes the …