Skip to main content

Posts

Showing posts from February, 2009

Unlove

a

Do not give a heart I may not receive.
RACINE



Why is it that those who I like do not like me? I asked my mother in jest over drinks last Saturday night. It was a question, however, that has surfaced, usually with a smile on my face, recently.

Welcome to the world, she said.

Not the response I wanted though. But I understand very well--about the world being somewhat "unfair," that is; but not what has been happening to me. (1)

It has come to a point that I'm getting "worried" about myself in a way that both amuses me and makes me wonder. I am afraid I have begun asking that inevitable question asked by all those who suffered a broken love: Am I unlovable?

Unlovable: this may immediately mean the opposite of being worthy of the rank of being loved; or simply being impossible to love. As "love-able" means someone who could be loved as a possibility, as a potentiality, if you wish--never mind if he has or is already loved as long as he has the potential of bei…

The Impossibility of Sympathy

a



Can a man who is warm understand one who is freezing?
Alexander Solzhenitsyn




Everybody--parents who believe that they know us better than ourselves, teachers who in their wisdom think we could always philosophize our way out of life's problems, and supposedly concerned friends who listen a while, say something nice, then move on quickly to a "lighter" topic--they all tell us the same thing: "Be strong!" "You can make it" "It's just a phase" with smiles and pretensions that only reveal that they have no idea of what you are going through. Of course, it's easier that way; we ourselves say these things to those who call out for our help.

It's a matter of substitution, or better, the impossibility of substitution: I can simply never place myself in an other's shoes. What you experience--the tide of events and their histories and circumstances; the force by which they come and the intensity of the emotions that are stirred up in yo…