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Showing posts from October, 2009

Love Envy

I sometimes see young happy lovers at the mall or in a restaurant or even in a movie and admit at times being envious of their happiness. Well at least they seem happy; and if they walk happy, talk happy, smile happy, then, allow me the hasty inference, they are therefore happy. It's too tiring to pretend happy after all.

I am thus always guilty of taking the reflexive turn, and its logic goes: Given that other people are happy in love, I ask why am I not? If other people--and they seem no better than me or I than them--can be happily in love; if others seem to easily have found love without lifting a finger or having deserved it; if they love even without knowing why they do or what love is; if that man has a trophy girl or that lady a man who will remain faithful to him--I ask, childishly, why not me? How simple it would be if I can only say I'll have what he's having.

You tell me that envy is one of the seven deadly sins, and that Thou shall not covet your neighbor's …

The Secret Joy of the Lover

The joys of parents are secret, and so are their grieves and fears;
they cannot utter the one, nor will they utter the other.
--Francis Bacon

Can the lover be truly happy? We know that he can be and that he is. We see it everyday. What is interesting is how that is possible.

Given that the lover can only love and cannot ask to be loved in return; given that to give love is to lose one's self in favor of the beloved; given that to love means placing the beloved first, displacing me and relegating me to the last and the least; given that love entails losing one's will, thereby weakening me and making me powerless; and finally, given that in order to truly love I must set aside my own happiness and aim at the happiness of the beloved--given all of this, how can the lover still remain or become happy?

So whence come the riches that love brings when love means dispossessing the lover of all that he has? How can I relinquish my powers and rights and find harmony with this sort of injusti…