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Not Now

i.

I woke up to a still absence
that awaits those who hate death.
I have written this before:
in different ways and
in different names yet
always leaving the same
withdrawal,
abandonment--
and surprise,
the kind of which you never want
to see again until you are old, alone
and dying.



ii.

I gather that it is because the world leaves me
on such mornings: the rush to the roads
while I rush to the coffeemaker and papers,
taking my time. Go on,
you do not need to see me
and what I do or do not do.
I will not fail you.



iii.

Save for today.

There is only so much a weak stomach
and a trembling hand
can consume, produce.
My head is light.
It was too late when I had it.
I thought sleep would be kind
and the mind kinder.
Now it dances,
my feet lag behind.
Rest me.
Save me today.




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