Skip to main content


Showing posts from October, 2010

The Sorrows of Knowing

Sorrow is knowledge: they who know the most
Must mourn the deepest o'er the fatal truth,
The Tree of Knowledge is not that of Life.
                                                      --Lord Byron, Manfred


Life tries to make it easier on us. The rhythm and cadence of everyday life are rarely upset or frustrated along their natural and unmindful flow, making it possible for us to go through days and days without losing our heads and, perhaps, giving us some amount of pleasure in living. In terms of our ability to forget ourselves, as we go through the dirty business of every day, we are not so unlike other animated beings: we breathe and eat and drink, walk and move about, stop and rest, care for ourselves and others without having to give these things much thought, without the need to take notice or give things a second look. For to take notice means to stop an activity; to look again means having to suspend one's work. Like a coffee break--that much needed respite at thos…

State of My Emotion Address

Why Try to Change Me Now
Fiona Apple (Cover)

I'm sentimental
So I walk in the rain
I've got some habits
Even I can't explain
Go to the corner
I end up in Spain
Why try to change me now

I sit and daydream
I've got daydreams galore
Cigarette ashes
There they go on the floor
Go away weekends
Leave my keys in the door
Why try to change me now

Why can't I be more conventional
People talk
People stare
So I try
But that can't be
'Cause I can't see
My strange little world
Just go passing me by

So let people wonder
Let 'em laugh
Let 'em frown
You know I'll love you
Till the moon's upside down
Don't you remember
I was always your clown
Why try to change me now

Don't you remember
I was always your clown
Why try to change me
Why try to change me now

In my scheduled bout with the blues yesterday I told myself anew that I must change. Change my life and the way I live it; my habits to avert their usually ill consequences; and my general perspective of things, to bring out wha…

Illness and Wisdom

He who has known only grace cannot understand the anxiety of the sick. Only sickness gives birth to serious and deep feelings. Whatever is not born out of sickness has only an esthetic value. To be ill means to live, willingly or not, on the heights of despair. But such heights presupposes deep chasms, fearful precipices--to live on the heights means to live near the abyss. One must fall in order to reach the heights. CIORAN

Is it any coincidence that our profoundest thoughts arise out from the ashes of hearts set on fire? Unlikely. Tormented souls, like darkness, give birth to dancing stars and liberate our highest hopes. It is necessary that hope first dance with despair in order for it to secure its essence, otherwise we shall live, as we all our lives do, never knowing if we despair or hope, befriending a nervous anxiety with no name because without a decision. Cancer patients speak of the blessings of knowing they shall soon die of their illness. In this one tragic but amazing inst…

Metaphysics of Madness


If to be mad means the inability to remain in touch with reality, presupposing that true reality is exclusively for the sane and sober, then we should envy the lunatic rather than pity him.

What we rational but boring folk refer to as "reality" is not the only reality available to human experience; it is just the particular reality that our particular state of mind can afford us. Hegel's dictum that the real is rational and the rational is real can only be correct when and if I am rational. But what of the irrational? Of the insane?  How we are opens up and reveals what is or what can be. Objective reality, or things themselves, do not on their own reveal themselves to us in differing ways--e.g. as rational, happy, lovely, etc.--giving us different views as to what reality could be. On the contrary, as we learned from the moderns, it is the subject which filters reality into what it can see, know, and understand. The I alone sees the world which does not see itself, …